From “Mwamukebela Obugere?” to DNA: The New Judge of Parenthood

Long ago, our parents used to have that one person in the family or the clan who was highly respected because he was the DNA machine of that time. They would often ask the parents of newborn babies, “Omwana oyo mwamukebela obugere?” and that was mainly the checkpoint. I don’t know the magic behind it, but it seemed to work for many years.

However, the whole world was recently shocked by the DNA test results involving the late Kafeero. Out of a total of 25 tests conducted, only four came out positive. “Omanyi,” big-size Bebe Cool recently also opened up on air and revealed that he conducted DNA tests on all his children. Although he did not disclose the results, the “kiboozi” on the streets is that DNA testing hospitals are now making money because many people believe that before investing their money and emotions, it is wise to first do the test.

But honestly, I don’t know what the NDIBAKOOYA hit maker is thinking wherever he is because this is really hard to take in. Just imagine the memories that must be crashing through one’s mind, recalling the struggle of raising children, those times when one was sick late at night and he rushed them to the hospital, the sleepless nights when the mother was about to give birth. “Okimanyi awo tewaba tulo.” Yet all that effort is seen, and the wife remains quiet when she clearly knows that this man is struggling for another man’s sweat.

I think we men have to come out with some formulas for preventing this because it is eating up marriages. People who have been happily married often find that after these tests, things tend to change. “Ewaka emirembe negibula.” What a disappointment. You know men, especially when they are in their “bufunda,” tend to pour flowers on their wives and confidently tell everyone that “oyo namumala” and that she cannot go anywhere. But what a shame when the truth comes out. Those peers you have been bragging to suddenly shift their focus to you, making it difficult to even associate with them.

I think a law should be made that restricts everyone from doing DNA tests because, according to how I know the people of Uganda, “bayinza okwetema.”

Still, this message goes to the women: respect your husband, please. Some of you are well catered for and cared for, yet you still go on to tarnish the image of the family. ‘oba lwaki’ i think there is a part some men leave unattented to. But all in all, “kilungi” to do the test because you get to know what is really going on.

The most amazing thing is that some of Kafeero’s so-called children who tested negative actually resemble him. The “buleevu” that Kafeero had can clearly be seen on them, yet they tested negative. “Kilabika Kafeero bamutega olubobo” as some people have been saying. But thanks to Minister Balaam for the good job well done.

To the mothers of our country, please, “tukendezeemu” because “tuswaala.” And to the Kafeero children who tested negative, please accept the results. I heard Bladina saying that she is going nowhere and that there were plans that only four people should test positive. “Naye” Nagawa, “naye” “mukambwe,” she said that all those who tested negative should vacate everything that belongs to the late singer.

Still, many people also heard the late Kafeero’s brother saying that only four would test positive, and that prediction turned out to be correct.

But all in all, fear women because according to the anger that was seen in those meetings, “heee,” once again, fear women.

This is an opinion piece.